Silent Cry
by LifeIsLemonsAndSherbert
Summary: A different outcome of Miyuki's injury, Sawamura isn't the oblivious idiot that he shows. (I don't own Ace of Diamonds, I can only wish)


_I can see the pain you feel, yet try so hard to hide._

A wince appears on your face as you throw the ball back to me. But as soon as it came your façade cast its bright shield, that annoying smirk that drove me up the wall. But now it is like a window to me, I see through you.

 _Why aren't you saying anything!? We'll help you!_

I can't look directly into your eyes anymore without feeling guilt. You ask me what's wrong with me, before you begin with your teasing. I want to tell you it's alright but…I'm just playing as the idiot character. Who should be oblivious, boisterous, selfish.

"I'm ok."

 _I don't want to do this to you, but you've always been unfair._

It is getting harder to ignore your aching, your silent breakdowns. They are quiet, but I only hear screams of pain. I know you want to hide it, keep playing as the leader.

 _But even a leader can be guided down the right path, even if I'm the idiot._

"I know Miyuki, and I'm doing what's right."

 _The shield has a crack, the mask is strained._

"You know what, Bakamura?"

 _It hurts me too, I know I wont be forgiven._

"You're injured Miyuki, you can drop the act with me."

 _Your eyes change so fast. They held warmth and were playful._

 _Now shredded ice and knifes stab into me._

"Don't tell anyone Bakamura or I'll never catch for you again."

 _The words rip through me and grasp my heart, pitching to you is everything…_

"Very well Miyuki…"

 _Relief is etched onto your face…_

"You wont need to catch for me again."

 _Fiery rage glows bright in your eyes but I see hope flicker within, I know what he thinks._

"Don't think so lowly of me Miyuki, I'm not greedy enough to let this go."

 _My eyes tear up and I take off to coach's office, adrenaline coursing through my body as I hear your pounding footsteps. I wrench open the door and slam it closed._

"BAM"

Coaches eyes are staring down at my sweaty form.

"Coach I have something to say."

He is in thought, but gives me a firm nod.

 _I tell him everything, I'm sorry, I cant handle things the way you do. You've tried so hard and me, the dubbed idiot, have ruined it for you. But the weight barring on my shoulders disappears, even when I'm unforgiven._

"I hate you Sawamura!"

 _No more nicknames, even if they were minor insults, you leave a gouge in my heart. But now you play the devil, its time to get even. You're destroying my walls bit my bit, without even knowing._

"I'm never catching for you again!"

 _It burns, bile threatens to rise up my throat. Claws are clamping my lips shut, but now your dislodging them, one by one._

"Thank you Sawamura."

 _Chris-senpai…_

"Yeah, thanks Bakamura!"

 _Kuramochi…_

"I'm leaving baseball."

 _Shock, horror, puzzlement, countless expressions cross all of their faces._

"What are you saying baka!?" "What do you mean!?"

 _I take things to heart, 'I'll never catch for you again!', Miyuki…_

"I'm done with baseball, I'm moving on."

 _I turn and leave, confusion, fury, hate, sadness._

 _Miyuki Kazuya, you were only one person to me…_

 _My savior_

 _You needed a hero, you got me, an oblivious idiot_

 _I'll take your words to heart, if this is what you want…then this I'll give you._

 _I gave my pitching, my light in the darkness…_

 _You gained more time, to recover and get over your one downfall_

 _Me…_

 _It has been a month, a different school, old friends, and the dreaded darkness_

 _Seeping its way through the cracks you created, my barrier is broken, now I can only be submerged. I'm losing my breath, even my eyes are open…the nightmares still reach me. I can only remember my promise, to make sure I don't go back on my words. I gave up pitching, for you._

 _There is a pounding at our door, my family had left to see a movie. My eyes widen and my heart stops. What are YOU doing here!?_

"Yes?"

 _My voice makes me wince, I haven't talked much since words I fear to say could come streaming out._

"What are you doing? I expected a loud mouth pitcher to greet me when I came back."

 _You always amazing me Miyuki…_

"I'm sure the others had already told you. I'm done Miyuki" _, you've broken me_

 _I almost said it, leave me alone! Just stay away from me. Tears are building up, I can feel them, I'm panicking._

"Why."

 _I almost laugh, but my eyes widen, words are coming out and I cant stop them._

"You said you didn't want me Miyuki, so I didn't feel like burdening you anymore. I'm not going to say that I'm sorry, you didn't deserve the outcome that you were carving for yourself."

 _I try closing the door but your foot comes out, pushing away the claws that held my mouth. Silence takes over and after a while he sighs._

"You were not supposed to care Bakamura, but I made a mistake…I thought I was the only one who could handle suffering in silence."

 _I choke back a sob, stop it, stop it, STOP IT!_

"Go home Miyuki."

 _I try, I try really hard, but the devil is back, and I'm in his grasp._

"My home is where ever you are, I was too blind to see it before."

 _The barriers are shattered, his arms wrap around me, holding the pieces together and gluing them back with his calming aurora._

"Come back to me, I miss you."

 _The leader always finds a way, to make his idiot shine._


End file.
